mE, MySeLf & GOD

Reklamo… puro reklamo… Reklamo sa thesis, reklamo sa exams, reklamo sa lecture, reklamo sa duty… Ayan tuloy, pinagpahinga ako ni Lord for 2 weeks!

I have, at twenty years of age, contracted Varicella zoster virus from God knows where! Grabe, may chicken pox ako! The pruritus! Ok, hindi na masyado ang pruritus these days because it has already been a week. Pero grabe naman ang boredom! I wanna go to school na ulet, kelangan ko tapusin thesis ko, i-submit ang dapat sa humanities, mag-attend ng lectures, kumuha ng midterm…..

Ok.. God will help me cope…. Sabi na eh, God has His ways. Reklamo ako ng reklamo sa hectic na schedule, ayan tuloy… Sabi naman N’ya: Sige, you will have to rest for 2 full weeks! That means, tomorrow, I still can’t go to school. Sobrang nakakahawa pa rin ako (in fact after using this computer, I would have to disinfect it with anti-viral lysol)…. Grabe, iso patient ako!!!

Anyway, being alone in my room, without nothing else to do, I got the chance to read the life of Saint Mary Euphrasia Pelletier. She so inspires me! Hayz…. Ayun, tapos nakikinig lang ng spirit fm…. Di nga ako makasimba! Ahuhuhu! Pinakamasaklap yun!

Ahuhuhu! Grabe ang bout ko with chickenpox! It so happened na the disease pala is more serious if it attacks you when you are already an adult… Yung dapat ’slight fever’ ko eh umabot ng 39.2 degrees celsius. I had to take antipyretics at isama mo pa ang pagkamahal-mahal na acyclovir, which I had to take for 5 days, q 6! I also had to take benadryll for the pruritus… Hayz….

Well, God-willing, I will be back in school on the 8th of September (birthday ni Mama Mary)… Ohmigosh, ang mga make-up duties ko!!!! Buti sana kung special area… Sana sa Rosario… or sa BRH… sobrang kulang pa ‘ko sa minor cases… Ayan, I’m panicking again! Sabi nang bahala si Lord….

Anyway, for those who are concerned, I’m ok… Walang complications such as encephalitis or penumonia…. Nakakatakot ang mga nababasa sa internet about adult chickenpox promise! Please do pray for my speedy recovery and thanks so much sa mga nag-text! Hope to see you classmates soon! God bless you all! Have a blessed Sunday….

Simula umaga hanggang hapon… mula noong ako’y maging Grade Three hanggang ngayong halos graduate na ako ng College… lalo na kapag malamig… LAGI NA LANG MASAKIT ANG LIKOD KO!

Sige, given, I am kind of hard-headed. Sinabi nang matulog sa kahoy at iwasan ang fetal position habang natutulog. Sinabi nang ayusin ang posture… Sinabi na ring bawal magbuhat ng mabigat at sinabi na ring kumonsulta ako sa orthopedic doctor (which I already did and I wasn’t at all satisfied) o sa therapist (na by the way ay instructor ko sa anatomy & physiology noong 2nd year ako)…. Pero ginawa ko na ba ang kahit isa sa mga iyon? HINDI!

Kasi naman! I mean, can you totally blame me, seriously? Sinubukan ko for a week na humiga sa kahoy sa pagtulog sa gabi na halos walang unan… Feeling ko magkakaron ako ng orthostatic hypotension at lalo yatang sumakit ang likod ko paggising ko… Sige, ‘wag na lang mag-fetal position… Kailangan mo muna akong igapos para hindi ako magising na nakaganun! Malay ko bang habang tulog ako ay kusa akong bumabaluktot na parang sanggol sa sinapupunan ng nanay ko?!?

OK, ayusin ang posture… straight body! Sige, sinubukan ko rin at pinakapilit-pilit ang sariling ayusin ang kurkubadong pagtayo at pag-upo ko… Good luck naman sa akin! Kaunting oras pa lang ay ngalay at mitig nanaman ang likod ko… ‘Wag magbuhat ng mabigat! Sana hindi ako nursing student. Kung nursing student ka at may Fundamentals of Nursing ka, samahan pa ng MedSurg at NCM, kamusta naman ang pag-iwas sa pagdadala ng mabigat!?

Ayan, habang nag-ta-type ako rito ay masakit ang likod ko. Take note, naka-straight body ako! O ayan, sabi nga ng mga kaklase ko at ng mga CI ko eh magpatingin daw ako sa doktor… Minsan ko nang ginawa iyon at nagbayad ako ng more than a thousand para sa thoraco-lumber x-ray (hindi kasama ang gasolina ng sasakyan sa gastos at ang konsumisyon sa paghihintay ng matagal sa OPD) tapos wala ring nangyari… Magpahaba raw ako ng buhok at mag-mefenamic acid! Sa tingin n’yo ba ganun kadali kumita ng pera sa mga panahong ito?!

Sa BRH nga raw, sabi ni Doc Ilagan — magpatingin daw ako kay Dr. Ernesto Reyes…. hmmm…. kamusta naman ‘yon? Nag-a-affiliate ako sa BRH tapos magiging pasyente ako ng doktor ‘dun? Naalala ko ‘yung comment ng doktor sa Cuenca nang makitang nag-ha-hyperventilate ako sa ER: "Aba’t ang nurse ang naging pasyente!" Nakakahiya kaya ‘yun…

Hayz… anu ba?! 

Thesis… Dengue Fever… Deadline (before the accreditation at the end of the month)… These things just might lead to me experiencing epistaxis and a nervous breakdown!

I mean, do I really have to be this busy? I think I might have an aneurysm or permanent brain damage… Err, anyone who has thorazine?! God, this is serious! You might just find me walking aimlessly around Batangas City, you know… poor thing… Urrghh! Nursing students are always taught that STRESS is bad for the health — physically and psychologically. Too much stress can take its toll on the frail human body.

I’m four feet ten inches short and I feel my stress level is way taller than me! Breath… Inhale, exhale…Relax… Chill… Everything’s gonna be ok…

You know what? I’m gonna do this thing. I’m gonna finish it on time and I’m gonna make a good nurse someday! Whatever it takes, I WILL COPE!

"Toxic" is the term nurses (and other medical professionals) use when there are a lot to do. Recently, that’s just how my studies go… TOXIC! I have this thesis that I have to work on fast enough to be able to finish the first three chapters within the end of this month and it feels like my time is running out. Then I still have the lectures to cope up with. Well, anyway, I love lectures. I don’t know but I really do… Perhaps it has something to do with being more adept at medical terms and stuff like that…

But then again, there are the hospital duties… No, don’t get me wrong. I DON’T hate hospital duties. It’s just that duties make me feel inadequate, being a student, you know (and being at the bottom of the surgical food chain, as Dr. Alex Karev puts it)… I just feel that there are still so much to learn, and there are a lot more that I do not know… and yet, the Board Exam is nearing… OMG! I’m NOT ready yet…!!!

Another thing that really makes me tired is the GRAVEYARD SHIFT (again). Well I like the fact that I get exposed a lot this semester at BRH because there are so much to do in there. I recently had another case at the ER. But it’s just that I can’t help getting all tired and cranky especially when my duty is at 3pm-11pm or worst, 11pm-7am… I just might start loosing my head or something! I mean, what date is it again?! (See my point?)

But I know that I really musn’t complain. After all, I am a nursing student. And in the near future, if I become a nurse (God-willing) I would have to put up with a lot more pressure. And pressure I must learn to take. You see, I have this vision of myself in a white nun’s habit, taking care of abandoned children in a small hospital unit owned by lets see… The Sisters of Healing congregation? =) Gee… that sounds…. I don’t know, odd?! Anyway, the point is if that odd thing ever happens, I would have to take the pressure! I might as well accept the fact that pressure is part of life… just like graveyard shift is part of my nursing student life….

DR. CRISTINA YANG: I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule number one - don’t try sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not gonna change…..

…. The dying person better not be dead when I get there because not only would you have killed someone. You would have waken me for no good reason…

~Typical Dr. Yang line. I love her, in fact she’s my favorite character in Grey’s Ana… Yeah, she’s this great, brainy surgeon and she rocks at being one. I’ve seen doctors and surgeons like her in real life — you know — those kinds that seem to NEVER commit an error, they’re almost inhuman! And frankly, I don’t love them the way I do Dr. Yang’s character. The Dr. Yangs make nursing students like myself feel like morons who have no business being anywhere near a hospital. But then again, they have the right to make us feel like incapables because they do excellent jobs… they save lives man!

DR. ALEX KAREV: You’re grunts. You’re at the bottom of the surgical food chain…

~No, Dr. Karev, your interns aren’t at the bottom because nursing students are! Interns, staff nurses, clinical instructors, even the trainees can take the pleasure in busting us (nursing students) out… So interns, you’re cool… We nursing students, have to live with the fact that we are the lowest of the low in the hospital food chain… even if we pay our RLE fees, we’re still at the bottom. So again, Dr. Karev, that statement of yours isn’t really applicable to real life. That’s ok… months from now, me and my batchmates are gonna be registered nurses…. hopefully!

DR. SHEPHERD: (to Lexie Grey) You’re the girl from the bar!

~Mcdreamy… he’s awesome! He just looks so good when he’s in his scrub suit and he’s doing a craniotomy… Plus the fact that he remembers interns from the bar (or does he just remember women named Grey exclusively?)… Anyway, you don’t find that often — doctors actually remembering people who are not at the same league as them (interns, nurses, students)…. Well don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against doctors (especially neuros) but it’s just that they are so preoccupied by their heroic roles of saving people’s lives that they don’t have time to remember girls from the bar. So a doctor remembering a nursing student in real life? Not likely.

DR. LEXIE GREY: (Pointing towards the patient) Did he just move?

~In season four of Grey’s, Dr. Lexie appeared with the other new interns (and Dr. O’malley as well) and they are like these clueless lot… Dr. Yang even confesses: "I hate them!" and calls them numbers (1 and 2, get to the ambulance!)…. And I can so relate to that! I mean, you try to be observant (like what Lexie did here) and yet, you still feel like you’re clueless and hopeless… So is it possible for interns and in this post’s case student nurses to feel inadequate? Based on my personal experience, I would say yes.

I watch Grey’s because I can relate to it. It’ like ‘Yes, exactly! I know!’… I should like the medical setting because in the near future, I will be in a true-to-life Seatle Grace Hospital and I will be experiencing true-to-life challenges in that particular field… until of course I enter the convent and become a nun…

But it will be great… God help… =)