mE, MySeLf & GOD

EXTEMPORANEOUS COMPETITION: One has to pick a topic from drawlots. She is given five minutes to organize her thoughts and after five minutes she has to deliver a five-minute speech about her topic.

Cold, clammy hands… Tachycardia (with matching palpitations)… Polyuria!?! These are the things I was feeling the day of the Universitywide extemporaneous contenst (25th of September 2008)…

I mean, twelve contestants from different BSU campuses and five (very much) distinguished judges… what the heck was I thinking, joining this competitio?!?! I have a thesis and a back subject to deal with and there I was, my heart racing, trying to get my thoughts together… How long do I have? Five minutes… right… What was my point again?? Good thing my Mom and my sister (plus the HR staff) were there to support me… plus Ma’am Tamayo was there… and Badet is another contestant… So why was I freaking out (albeit unnoticeably)?

Well, perhaps the fact that the judges were three doctors, another taking up doctoral of jurisprudence and the last one a lawyer — made the whole thing almost unbearably frightening… I mean, they are doctors and lawyers and I’m not even a Registered Nurse yet! And then there were the teachers and the professors rom different BSU campuses who really didn’t lessen my fears…

What brought me to that gruelling circumstance? Well, it was during the nursing students’ acquaintance day that Ma’am Melodie Panopio asked me if I could join the elimination of the extemporaneous competition. Deep inside I was like, You have got to be kidding me… I have a thesis (which is actually the reason why I approached her in the first place)… But then, the determined eyes of the BSU College of Nursing’s Dean made me say: “Of course Ma’am. I’d be delighted to represent the department.” Did I just say that?! What’s wrong with my synapses? Didn’t my tongue understand the message from my brain? And then the following Monday, I found myself scared as I could be, joining the elimination round. The only thought that I had was: Don’t worry. If you loose, that would be a blessing in disguise. That way, you won’t have to represent BSU main campus for the universitywide extemporaneous competition. But then, Professor Rosemarie Robles (who happens to be my thesis adviser and the chairman of the board of judges during the elimination round) announced there are two winners who bagged the First Place and that these two would represent the main campus for the universitywide competition. The winners’ numbers were 1 and 9… I was contestant number one, Badet (my classmate, friend, and fellow competitor) was contestant number nine! The nursing students jumped with joy, so did my Mom and the HR staff. I was also euphoric! Until I realized that Badet and I were going to represent the main campus for the universitywide contest… GOD! The name and honor of both the Nursing Department and BSU’s MAIN CAMPUS were on our hands!

And so it was that on the morning of Septermber 25, 2008, my hands were clammy, I was tachycardic and palpitating, and I was having this urge to void every five minutes! This time a different set of judges faced the contestants: Dr. Dimaano (the Dean of the graduate school, and the chairman of the board of judges), Dr. Bonot, another lady doctor, Sir Jared (who works at the University President’s office and is being a doctor of jurisprudence), and Atty. Valdez (who obviously is a lawyer). I was scared but  wanted to prove to myself that I could conquer my fears! I could do this! I don’t have to prove to anyone else how good a speaker I was. I didn’t want to win, all I wanted was to be able to deliver my speech as flawlessly as I can manage… There were other contestants who were really good, I must say. Badet for one, is a very good speaker. Then there was this tall, pretty, English-speaking girl from the Lipa Campus. She’s also kind and friendly, by the way. Later on I learned that she’s a Mass Communication student. So, I really didn’t want to aim for the win… I just wanted to speak — speak well. And that is just what I did!

When I went in front of the judges, their stone-facedness didn’t abate the fear I was feeling. But then, I swallowed, smiled and greeted them: “To you ladies and gentlemen; of course to our distinguished board of judges, good morning!” And when I finished greeting them, the judges began to look at me seriously, one even adjusted his seat. I read my topic with as much confidence as a can master. The question was somewhat like ‘How does BSU give confidence to the students to converge with the world through education?’ So I went on: “We are now celebrating the 105th foundation of Batangas State University. A century and five years of EMPOWERING the youth!” I defined empowering as ‘insiring confidence in someone’ and I told them that if a person is empowered, he will be able to converge with the world because he will have the right amount of confidence to interrelate with anyone… And at this point, the judges’ faces mellowed, some even half-smiled. And so again, I went on. I told them that the key for a Borbonian’s empowerment is EXCELLENT EDUCATION, complete with the development of KNOWLEDGE, SKILLS, and ATTITUDE. I just elaborated on these three concepts and by the time I was explaining attitude, Dr. Bonot (one of the judges) was nodding her head. I thought to myself: Gee, she’s nodding! She’s following what I’m saying and she agrees! And so I noticed that I wasn’t palpitating anymore. I could not pin point when exactly I stopped being nervous but I did conquer my fear! And in the end I did deliver a good speech! So, I already felt like a winner. I don’t mean that I felt like a winner because I was sure that I’ll win. Instead, I won over my fear! I was able to speak. I didn’t really care about what the judges’ decission would be. I just did what I wanted to do: SPEAK AND BE LISTENED TO (by people who matters, for all that it’s worth)!

The judges deliberated longer than the elimination judges did. I felt nervous again, all of a sudden. I wasn’t expecting to win, but the thrill of the moment was just too much to handle. Then Dr. Dimaano spoke and announced the Third Place winner. She’s the girl from Lipa campus. She smiled at me and told me: “You’ll win first place!” I told her don’t be silly and I shook her hand. Then Dr. Dimaano went on announcing the Second Place winner. “The Second Place goes to a representative from Unit I: Maria Christina Bernadette L. Cepillo.” It was Badet! Badet from the College of Nursing! I stood up and congratulated her. I hugged her a bit, and I returned to my seat. The staff from HR office were screaming! They were so thrilled. I was thrilled as well, but I really didn’t have the energy to scream. Plus Ma’am Samarita was raising the SILENCE PLEASE reminder. And so I quietly and nervously waited for the announcement of the First Place winner.

Finally, Dr. Dimaano said: ”And the First Place goes to… again, the representative of Unit I, Ma. Victoria Gracia C. Mendoza!” There were screams again, and the Clinical Instructors from the College of Nursing were cheering. Badet and I were hugging each other. I gave my mom and my little sister kisses. And the three winners received medals and certificates. But that wasn’t all. Ma’am Samarita, a fluent English speaker and a graduate of UST, shook my hand, smiled and said: “I liked your speech very much!” GOD, that was cool!

And so that night, I thanked God profusely because I felt His presence as I was fretting at the contest proper. He guided both me and Badet. It was a great experience. I felt great because my family was very much happy about me winning first place. Also, I was able to prove to myself that I can do anything that I put my heart and mind into. I am not a scaredy-cat! I am confident! God, I love You!