mE, MySeLf & GOD

LIFE encompasses such a broad and dynamic aspect. In science, life is defined as a state that distinguishes organisms from non-living objects. Organisms with life are those capable of growth and reproduction. In a more holistic definition, life is the physical, mental, and spiritual experiences that constitute existence. 

LIVING the life that a person has is even more complex. There are a lot of dilemmas, decisions and experiences that comprise living. What does one have to do with his/her life? Better answer this question as soon as possible, before waking up one day or rather NOT waking up one day.

 

As a nursing student, I have encountered the different faces of the complexities of life — different life experiences both bizarre and mundane.

 

I have taken the vital signs of people with peptic ulcer disease, leptospirosis, tuberculosis, dengue fever and whatnot in the wards of different hospitals. I have seen mothers give birth to their babies (some of which have deformities) and even get the chance to deliver placentas. I have interacted with people who have cancer in an oncology ward. I have assisted in surgical procedures where people are cut open in the Operating Room and also in minor procedures where people get sutured up in the Emergency Room. I have had my Related Learning Experience in private hospitals — some of which are really high-technology and also in public hospitals where even ventilators are not readily available so student nurses like me would have to perform manual ventilation to comatose patients.  

 

Truly, there is no other place where a person can encounter life… and death more closely than within the walls of a hospital. The hospital is where the first cries of a newborn are heard and where the last gasp for breath is taken by the dying. It is where new fathers beaming with pride are congratulated for the birth of their son or daughter, and where the family of a seven-year old is comforted after the diagnosis of leukemia. It is where doctors and nurses work hard to save an elderly who is having a myocardial infarction (heart attack) and where physicians have to choose the right words in telling his patient that the gangrenous foot has to be amputated.

 

How does each patient live — the former smoker who now has only one lung left because of pulmonectomy done after the diagnosis of malignant lung tumor? How about the life of a sixteen year old, whose boyfriend is nowhere to be seen after the birth of their premature baby, now in Neonatal Intensive Care Unit? There is also the life of a child with back braces and chronic pains due to thoracic kyphoscoliosis. How can this child live, go to school, meet friends when she has to answer questions such as “What are those metals on your back? Are you like a bionic person?”

 

Furthermore, how do doctors, nurses and other healthcare professionals try to juggle life in their hands — their patients’ lives that need to be saved, lengthened or to be provided with palliative care… or their own lives that still need to be sorted out — a doctor who is also a husband and a father, a nursing student who is also a daughter and a sister?

 

I believe that living is an art. Even though the road ahead is full of hardships and hurdles, people go on and LIVE. I remember an experience at the Lung Center of the Philippines. There was this elderly man who is very kind. His wife was as kind as him and always had a ready smile for nursing students. The man was about to undergo pulmonectomy or the removal of an entire lung. I could see the shadow in his eyes when he told me: “Ineng, natatakot ako’t ako’y tatanggalan ng baga…” For a moment, I could not speak. What does one say? Can I tell him ‘Oh don’t worry. Everything’s going to be alright.’ Wait right there! Healthcare professionals should NEVER give false reassurances. How could I be sure that everything will be fine when the guy’s lung has to be taken out? I ended up telling the elderly patient: “Sigurado po akong gagawin ng inyong doktor ang kanyang makakaya para maging ligtas kayo.” Not bad right?… although I had no idea who his doctor was. The good thing is that the shadow lifted from his eyes and he smiled and said: “Salamat ineng…” then he went on giving me a lecture about life — how I should finish my studies first and get a good job before I get married.

 

I wonder how his life will be for him after his operation… if he lives to survive his operation (I sure hope he will). He will have to practice deep breathing exercises and learn to accept his physical limitations after the removal of one lung.

 

Life… breathe… Live… do something!

 

When I get to have duties at the Emergency Room, I feel that I belong to a place like that. I am actually hoping to become a triage nurse someday. When people hear the words Emergency Room, they always think that everything there is fast-paced, toxic, no rest; just blood, sutures, contusions, defibrillations and ET-tube placements. But there are also other things in the ER that people don’t always see.

 

Take this experience of mine. In a public hospital where everything that the patient will use must be bought (such as the anti-tetanus serum, syringe and the doctor’s gloves), an elderly was taken because of a considerably long cut in his arm. The laceration, I observed, was also bleeding. There was one problem: the man was so indigent he didn’t have money to buy anything. The triage nurse said: “Pa’no ‘yan tatay? Pa’no kayo matatahi eh wala kayong pambili ng gamit?” The man just looked at his pitiful laceration. I was close to tears. Why did I have only a hundred pesos in my pocket that time? All I could buy with that are perhaps two pairs of sterile gloves and a micropore. What a life! The man must have thought. He was bleeding and miserable and he had no money.

 

The doctor eyed the patient and suddenly spoke: “Sige ho. Pakuha n’yo sa kasamahan n’yo ang mga gagamitin at ako na ang magbabayad.” God bless that doctor. May he live a long life so he could touch many more lives in the future.

 

You see, life is not just about breathing and staying alive. It’s about living it and doing the things you ought to do — just like that doctor who did not just save that man’s life but also touched the poor man’s heart.

 

I hope that I could do the same. I may not be a physician. But I will become a nurse — a nurse who could share in the bitterness of the lives of sick people… a nurse who will help save lives… That, for me, will make my life wonderfully beautiful. LA VITA E BELLA!

 

 

-Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam